I’ve recently started trying more creative writing and it’s been so much more healing than the way I used to approach my creative writing. You see, when I was young, I was going to be an author. Of like, books. Real books. With whole-ass, big long stories. Not someone who wrote and posted random ramblings no one else read on the internet.
Life sort of got in the way of that and I had what I suppose you could call a bit of midlife crisis (I maintain it’s still a bit early for that, but details, schetails) and decided I was going to kick my own ass and really write something great for NaNoWriMo. I wrote a lot of something! It was maybe… okay? I haven’t been able to look at it again because what I succeeded in doing was mostly just the kicking my own ass part. I was trying to take some outside classes as well as work full time and write a 50,000 word novel(la) in 30 days. I barely even ironically blame hustle culture.
That was exhausting and I cried pretty much every day in November. Some days multiple times. I had finally succeeded in doing what I’d been teetering on the edge of for about six years, I burnt myself out. I stopped writing my novel(la), which by that point, I fully hated, and haven’t yet opened that document up again. I was practically inconsolable. I was never going to be a “real” writer and I needed to just learn to live with that.
But then I saw an ad for an online writing group and I decided I’d give it a try. And I was so grateful I did. We weren’t all working on big long projects, it was a new prompt every session! And there wasn’t any pressure to critique or one-up anyone, just encouragement to let your imagination take you anywhere.
It was a much needed breath of fresh air for me. The phrase, “if you write, you’re a writer” finally felt true to me. And I was reminded of the intrinsic value of doing things simply for the joy of doing them. Even more magical, I got the chance to do something that brought me joy, share it with others, and hear other people’s writing as well. It was something I hadn’t experienced in a long, long time.
There’s something deeply intimate about sharing writing, especially creative writing that’s a response to the same prompt others get. Not only are you able to see stories others saw in the same prompt, but you allow others a tiny, brief window into how you saw the prompt as well. It’s vulnerable. But it’s also a bit of a rush.
I suppose I’ve become a bit addicted to that rush. Because here I am sharing one of those stories again. I hope you enjoy it.
(more…)
